50 Shades of Reality

I thought I would break up what has appeared to have turn into a food blog with a little book review.  

*Spoiler Alert*

I just read the first 50 Shades of Grey book, well rather listened to it on Auditable. I know I am extremely behind the times but I never had an interest in reading it. But I just happened to have an extra credit to use up and figured with the movie coming out it would be worth a try.

The fact that this book became so extremely popular remains a mystery to me. Is this the type of relationship most women want? A borderline abusive relationship with a control freak? Is Mr. Christian Grey the man of everyone’s dreams?
No matter who you are, I assure you, you could do better.

I do, however, understand the allure of having an extremely good looking, rich man making elaborate gestures to win you over. And that reading a book like this can be a nice little escape from reality. But please be advised, this is a fairy tale and no real life relationship advice should be drawn.

While listening to this book, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and think how off base this book truly is from reality. (Thank god Mr. Grey didn’t see otherwise I would have a very sore behind)

So I thought it would be fun to do a little compare and contrast. Book vs reality.
Please note that this post is intended for humorous purposes only. The reality scenarios do not in any way depict anything remotely close to how my fiancé, Andrew would behave….ex-boyfriends….maybe.

Book Scenario– Even though Ana is a virgin, Christian gives her multiple orgasms every time they have an encounter. (Including the very first time she has sex) Christian is apparently some sort of energizer bunny and doesn’t need a break…ever.
Reality – Ana’s first time is not very pleasurable, and it will most likely take a number of times of having sex before she can have an orgasm. And Christian is far more concerned with his pleasure then hers. After he’s done. He goes to sleep, not particularly caring what Ana does.

Book Scenario – Thinking ahead, Christian wants to surprise Ana by upgrading her flight her to first class. He also spends a little extra to purchase the seat next to her because he is a possessive, jealous man.
Reality – Men don’t think ahead.

Book Scenario – Christian flys across the country to see Ana because he misses her after being gone for only 3 days.
Reality – Christian is ecstatic to be rid of the old ball and chain for a few days. He enjoys not showering, playing xbox all day, and eating take out.

Book Scenario – Every time Ana emails Christian, Christian responds immediately with a witty email, expressing his feelings for her.
Reality – Christian doesn’t respond to Ana for a few days to keep her on her toes, and only a “sissy” would be upfront about his feelings.

Book Scenario – Christian is always very concerned with Ana’s health and always insists she eats everything on her plate.
Reality- Christian makes an underhanded comment about Ana’s weight and suggests she should skip a meal every now and again.

Book Scenario – Christian spends tons of money and fills up an entire closet full of designer clothes just for Ana.
Reality – Christian doesn’t care what Ana wears, would never go shopping for her, and thinks anything more than $30 for any article of clothing is exorbitant.

Laters, Baby.